literature conference

went to a literature conference the other day. i really did not want to go. but off i went on a chartered bus (with air conditioning) to another university campus.

when i got there it was just about like all the other conferences i have attended. there was a table with with an awful tablecloth on it and seats behind it for the presenters. there were three rows of seats for the rest of us to sit in. no one sat in the front row. easier for us to absorb their papers, i suppose, with a barrier between us and them. them sending their thoughts and queries towards us in monotone twenty min. little boxes. we sitting there arms folded scribbling grocery lists on the handouts.

that's not to say i didn't enjoy the presentations. well some of them. one of them was so unsubstantiated that i cannot believe he was allowed to walk in there let alone read a paper. i'm not sure he's been taking his medication...though i do suppose he might need it. there is one thing i am certain of: he has not been trimming his eyebrows.

but i did indeed enjoy some of them. some of them were well laid out, thought provoking and wildly intelligent. and then there was the eyebrow guy...i don't want to talk about his paper.

and in between the papers there was tea/coffee. then lunch tiny sandwiches, cold chicken strips, tiny wrinkled sausages emasculated by toothpicks, large blocks of cheese (why would anyone eat a huge block of cheese on a lunch break...but they did...) and fruit. then there was more tea. and the next one was wine. awful wine...which tasted wounderful because it meant eyebrow man was finished, his was the last paper.

two of my collagues left with a bottle of wine. i was proud of them.

i also am so confused why there is so much sexual tension at academic conferences. some people seriously seem to go to these things to pick up someone. and some of these academic types are more than a little bit scary. you know exactly what i'm talking about. and some of them are adorable who know more about constructing arguments than making small talk and when one of these men tries to talk to one of these women it is one of the most adorable things i have seen. i feel a bit like i'm watching a discovery channel special though. because the guy is trying so hard to be interesting by talking about footnotes or obscure letters and the girl has no idea what is actually going on beyond the actual content of their conversation. so he walks away wondering what he did wrong and she walks away confused why he was so insistent on telling her that one of mary wollstencraft's letters reminded him of his mother.

so despite the fact that going to these things makes me nervous especially when i'm presenting (luckily the other day i was not) i will probably keep going to them. at least for the oppotunity for social commentary.