hello there

hi, we haven't spoken in a while. sit down i'll make you some tea.

so i got my third paper back. i got a 60. which is passing. now i just have to wait to see about paper number 4. it needs to be a 62. this british grading system is so odd. i don't know when i'll get it back. hopefully in the nexy week. i have asked one of the profs here to write me a reccomendation letter. that made me all sorts of nervous. but he agreed. he also asked if i could type some things up for him. i am super-office-tasks-girl by the way. i was happy to agree to that. i need extra money where ever i can locate it.

kind of odd to switch topics like this. makes some of what i have done feel wasted. but i won't dwell on that too much. another thing that sucks is some of my professors are relatively well known in the romantic academic forum. and sending off a reccomendation to be handled by modern european history profs...well...any clout they may have had will be lost on them. oh well. tim is a really nice man and i'm glad he has agreed to write this for me. i also asked lidh but haven't heard back from him yet.

i keep repeating to myself..."my world will not end if i don't get into grad school" and it won't...damnit... i'll take another year off and read and be better prepared to go in. worrying will get me no where... except in the running for the coveted worrier of the year award. it's awarded by country and has nothing to do with national origin just which country you have spent the most time in. i've never done this in england before. but it's smaller so i figure my chances are better.

anyway. class today with prof bennett. he always makes me nervous...i will say something ridiculous. oh yes i well. he's got that bald, leather jacket, i've written a well recieved intoduction to literary theory what have you done? thing going for him. he also doesn't show much emotion and kinda creeps me out the way he stares and doesn't tell you if he thinks your idea is good or not. he just waits until you get nervous , talk too much, and hang yourself. though he did help me with my last paper a bit.

to be honest i guess i'm a bit lonely. which is dumb. i have a handful of fantastic friends here albeit none of them are what i would call close. except for peter who is off in italy with his son now. and we bicker with eachother instead of saying to eachother that we're glad to be friends and sometimes that gets irritating. i have some very close friends that are continents away now and i know they love me. but i haven't seen most of them since last september. i need someone to go langerie shopping with (and jesse doesn't count...going langerie shopping with men is an entirely different thing...and something you should only do if you're already in a good mood). not that i can afford langerie anyway....or spell it...

oh well. i will be back in the states soon. and again in driving distance of almost everyone i love.

i guess what i am getting at is, i do love you guys. you really are part of me and i am thankful for that. i'm glad you shove me in the right direction sometimes, glad you hold me, glad you have the power to remind me who i am. and i miss you.

-sarah